Whatever I thought I knew about India seems to be irrevelent, backwards, and maybe even misled. After three weeks here I am still mystified by the duty of the left hand. I had the image in my mind that you always eat with your right hand and use it for the occasional shaking of hands. The left hand was meant to be kept as the sacred wiper of the anus. So if this is true why do all my colleagues keep offering me their right or left hand to shake, at any angle, at any location, even in the restroom? What is going on? Am I shaking dirty hands? Do people use toilet paper? I have not figured out this mystery. And I have been keenly observing people's eating strategies. Unless my vision is skewed, I have seen people eating with both hands. I suppose I should ask one of my friends to explain this phenomen to me, because learning by trial and error is rather ridiculous.

Some toilets have toilet paper, most do not (our hostel does not). So what to do? At the hostel I have managed to time my bathroom visits with a shower. That way I am sure to clean with soap and leave clean and pure. I haven't figure out how to use the little container and water near the toilet. It's probably a simple matter but at this point I have settled for a post toilet shower.

As for the toilets away from the hostel and wihtout the full shower option...I have experimented with the hose method. There is a tube connected to a water source and at the spout end is a metal nozzle shaped like an L. One day I thought, "What the hell...who needs toilet paper when you can clean yourself with a spout of water." I placed the tube in what I thought was the right place, and turned on the faucet. The pressure and volume of water caught me by surprise. My angle was not right and the water came jetting up and out, not cleaning my anus, but rather shooting all over the bathroom stalls through my legs. Fortunately there was some toilet paper and I was able to complete the job in a familiar manner. My next visit to the same toilet proved much more successfull and I felt the joy of water aimed correctly and had no need for paper. And my left hand remained clean! Except for the millions of germs of course that I touch everyday. Washing my hands has become the most important thing I do, especially after typing on this cyber cafe keyboard. How many Indians use their left hand for both cleaning their anus and typing? I'm scared to answer this question. I will, however, update you when I fully discover the mysteries of the Left Hand. Until then, I will continue experimenting with hoses, showers, toilet paper and cringe when my colleagues offer me a left handed shake.